Been thinking quite a bit about relationships. I think there is a natural human hunger for deep relationships – to know one another deeply, hence the fascination many people have with gossip magazines. Perhaps that need isn’t fulfilled in their life?
Twitter is great as is blogging and all of the other things, but this is just an encouragement today to Go Deep.
Do you have three or four relationships that are deeper? Probably face to face relationships where you really know people. Did they have a good day? What did they have for lunch? How did they sleep?
Oh, it sounds mundane, but since this has been something I’ve been pondering and thus have taken the time to sit and talk with each of my three kids and husband each day just about their day and deeply listened: it has made a difference. We laugh more. We do fun things together more.
Now, deep relationships don’t mean perfect relationships nor do they mean reciprocal relationships. I’m still the Mama here and do so much of the home management — in fact, the family is so used to me buying presents that they were shocked when I didn’t buy myself a 40th birthday present from them! Although I had a delicious breakfast from my wonderful husband — I’m still awaiting that present from my 3 kids and husband!
And that brings another point. Deep relationships also can cut deeply. To have deep relationships you have to forgive and move on. You have to love and be more. It is easy to have disposable relationships that you discard when the plate is dirty – but perhaps I love my sisters more deeply that we went through that phase of pulling each other’s hair out (literally) when we were younger and have forgiven each other and hold on to one another as tightly as we used to tug out their hair!
We have to understand that we all need these deep relationships — to matter to someone.
For we can leave our mark only as weathered words on a gravestone or in the hearts and minds of other human beings.
Twitter is fun — but sometimes it is easy to have a very shallow, cursory relationship with several thousand people than to have a deep relationship with 3-4. Now, there is nothing wrong with this new way of connecting, but if it throws us off kilter the other, deeper connections, that would cause concern.
Really, this hits home because I speak from experience. I’ve blogged and missed my family howling with laughter in the den. I’ve also made some great online friends as well who I treasure and love dearly – so I’ll never disparage those relationships. Cheryl Oakes often gives me a ring on my cell phone just to tell me she’s thinking about me– WHAT a dear, kind woman — I just love her to death!
But I’ve got to coexist with this blog. I’m a human being, not a human doing. Blogging is something that I enjoy and do – but I’m still a human if I left it behind today!
But, this is just an encouragement that if you’re not already going deep, to make the effort today to do so. Sit down with someone you care about or want to know better and just ask questions and listen. Think of their favorite things and do that for them. Let your life be about enhancing and being a part of the life of others.
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