Dr. Steven Berkowitz is a child trauma psychologist. ย I reached out to him last week and ask if he'd take the time to help all of you out there helping children cope with the aftermath of Harvey. And now with Irma barreling down on Florida and an unknown path for Jose, it looks like storm season is really a hard one for many of us. (He has previously talked about helping children deal with the emotions of terrorism.)
In this special episode, we're running over our usual ten minutes and this episode is different from others. Kip and I met last week to determine what we could do to help. We want all of you out there who are hurting to know that you are not alone. I hope this will be a resource that helps many of you.ย (Thank you to everyone on the #10MT team who helped turn this show around so quickly. Our hearts and prayers are with our friends who are hurting.)
- Listen to the show onย iTunesย orย Stitcher
- Stream by clicking here.
Some ways to help:
- Adopt a Houston Classroom – a Google form to help match those who need help with those wanting to help – right now it is ONLY open for Texas teachers needing help, but they'll open it back up for those who want to help soon. (we hope.)
- Harvey/Storm Book Request – for schools who need to replace books
- Kasey Bell has listed some relief agencies for donations
Enhanced Transcript
Helping Kids Recover from the Trauma of a Storm
Shownotes: www.coolcatteacher.com/trauma
From Audio File: SPECIAL-EPISODE-HARVEY-Steven-Berkowitz
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
Vicki: Today weโre talking with Dr. Steven Berkowitz. He is the Director of the Penn Center for Youth and Family Trauma Response and Recovery and someone that Iโve turned to quite a few times in my podcasting career when we need to talk to kids about trauma. Today weโre going to talk about helping kids cope with the trauma of a storm.
Where do we start?
So, Steven, there are so many people who are struggling with what has happened with Hurricane Harvey in Texas, and there are even kids that are watching this. Today weโre really going to focus on those kids that are dealing with whatโs going on right now. Where do we even start with this sort of trauma?
Steven: Ahhhโฆ Itโs hard to know, isnโt it? I think the first thing that we have to recognize is that itโs really safety and security that comes first. Nobody is going be able to feel secure until theyโre in a situation where thereโs some sense that thereโs going to a routine, regularity, and they know what the future holds โ which of course is really, really hard in this situation.
The importance of re-establishing routines quickly
Vicki: And some people say, โLetโs just let them recover, and then the school will just start whenever,โ but arenโt there some cases of when you do want to try to get them back on a routine and you do want to get them back in school?
Steven: Absolutely. And itโs really important that kids are back in school, and parents are back at work. The dilemma, of course, is how to do that. In this case, the devastation is so profound โ and how long itโs going to take to actually recover is anyoneโs guess.
And so the question really is, โHow do we actually energize and help people who have been displaced โ and may be displaced for a while โ get into situations, get into communities that can be supportive so they can return to (a maybe displaced) but somewhat regular situations and lives?โ
I mean, we learned a lot from Katrina. And one of the things that I think we really learned is that having people sit around, not do anything, in camps or something like that is really devastating for their well-being.
So, the crucial thing is to get people back to work and kids back to school. And whether thatโs working the recovery, with a hammer and nail, or going to school somewhere in trailers that are convenient and safe โ absolutely crucial.
Finding a new normal after the storm
Vicki: Itโs just so hard. And isnโt there a case for a โnew normalโ because one thing that I found with the floods of โ94 that we had here in south Georgia was that โ you know, you get rescued, you get out of the home thatโs flooded — but somehow children expect that theyโre going to be able to go back, and everything is going to be just like it was. And when it isnโt, they have a hard time coping.
Steven: I think thatโs not only true of kids, I think thatโs true of everybody. I think younger kids, of course, donโt have the cognitive capacity to understand the reality. And there is absolutely a new normalโฆ and itโs really, really crucial that in whatever developmental phase your child is in if youโre really subjected to this devastation, is to help explain whatโs going on and what the reality is, and what the future holds to the best of your knowledge.
Nothing will be the same for these people. As you know, in these situations the people who are most likely to be impacted in a negative way are those that donโt have the resources. So if you have family in Atlanta, and you can fly to Atlanta and be supported by your family, that makes a big difference. If you are the families in Houston, you have nowhere to go.
What do you say to children?
Vicki: So what kind of things do you say to your children? You said try to get them back into a routine as soon as you can. Talk to them about the new normal and the new reality. What other kinds of things do parents and teachers need to talk to kids about?
Steven: Well, be very honest about how everybodyโs feeling, and what theyโre concerned about, and not with tears and upset, but with, โYou know, Iโm worried too. I donโt know whatโs going to happen next. Our job is going to be to take care of you, and we will do the best we can. And the whole country is here to help you. Thatโs what weโre going to work on. But weโre going to have to do this all together.โ
I think that one of the most important things for any kid โ and any adult โ is to get active. Do not just sit around and wait for things to happen.
Mistakes that people make during times of recovery
Vicki: So besides being inactive and not getting back to work and getting yourself busy, are there any other big mistakes that parents and caregivers make with children in trauma?
Steven: Well, one of the things that we all want to do is say, โItโs going to be OK.โ Act as if itโs going to be OK. And when thatโs just not true, itโs not good for anybody. And itโs not good for kids.
So, itโs really important to be as authentic as possible with them. Again, they donโt have to know every detail, maybe just be supportive. But itโs important to let them know what is going on and what the concerns are.
Also, to be very clear that โThis is a major, major deal. Itโs not a game. Itโs real. And you need to be able to be part of our plan to support each other and to move ahead.โ
So, the idea that theyโre not involved โ somehow, โYou donโt have to worry about anything,โ โ thatโs just not fair, and itโs not accurate.
Everything is NOT going to be OK, and thatโs fine to say, โItโs going to be different. Yes, we need you actively involved with us to move forward as a family.โ
How do we get help for the fears of families?
Vicki: How about dealing with the fear? As you know, many families kind of have a stigma with seeing a psychologist. And โ they really NEED to โ this is trauma. If somebody has a broken arm, they go to the doctor. But if someone has a broken heart or a broken mind, ummmmโฆ Many times people donโt get help, and the children are the ones who suffer. So, how do we get help for their fears, and for the fears in the adults?
Steven: Well, I think againโฆ we have learned a great deal since Katrina, Sandyโฆ and hopefully, with the federal governmentโs support, we have very good programs and models in place now, where with crisis counseling thereโs several very well done guides and books and training that have been done.
So, the key piece is really through outreach in these situations. [Itโs about] going to where people are, supporting them, helping them recognize what their reactions are, and engaging them in that particular situation. A lot of this can be done in outreach, with people who are well supervised but donโt necessarily have the degrees. And most people still recover.
The key piece in these situations in the crisis counseling program is to really identify those people who are really struggling, and help get the help they need. So, I think it really is about outreach. You can imagine, when youโre devastated โ you lost your home, you may have lost family or friends (or not know where they are). The last thing on your mind is thinking about getting therapy.
Vicki: (agrees)
Steven: So, thatโs why the outreach, the group support, all of that โ is a way to engage families and kids. There are shelters that do that routinely. Hopefully, when things get a little bit more stable, that kind of approach can take place. These shelters are going to be in operation for a long time.
A message to schools dealing with the aftermath of a storm
Vicki: (agrees) So, whatโs your message to schools?
Steven: (Whew!) Heh. Yeah. Itโs a really important and complicated question. What happens when you get students that are coming from the Houston area into your school or Louisiana or Oklahoma? It is really a complex environment. You have devastated kids and families. So, schools as often is the case, now have to take on multiple important roles. One of the most important roles is NOT thinking that education and learning are the primary practice. It really is about integrating and supporting these new kids into this new culture and climate of a new school and new community.
For those temporary schools, itโs going to be a similar kind of thing because these are probably a large group of people who have never had any experience with one another. Itโs rebuilding from the get-go.
And so, really supporting just normal functioning and development. Iโm not saying, โDonโt teach.โ Iโm just saying, โThatโs not the primary function at this point.โ
Vicki: (agrees) Just getting them back. Itโs such an important โ I mean we need to be having these conversations. I mean, donโt some people just deal with this sort of thing by, โOh, letโs just pretend like everythingโs normal.โ
Steven: Thatโs what we hope, right? If we just keep going and put our heads down, everything will go away. All the problems will disappear. โGet thee behind me, Satan!โ Right?
Again, thatโs very common and very understandable. And by the way, if you can do it, go for it! Itโs great! If you can make that work. Itโs very hard. And particularly in situations like this, the trauma is not the storm. Itโs not the moment. Itโs going to be ongoing for months for many people โ if not longer.
As the losses pile up, thereโs also this kind of your ability to deal with eroding, with all of the challenges that come up.
Having empathy for those dealing with the stress of the storm
Vicki: Yeah, because sometimes, you knowโฆ OK, if itโs one thing. OK, itโs one thing. If itโs two things, itโs two things. I mean, some people lose their temper at getting stuck in traffic. But this isnโt traffic. I mean, this is your home and your insurance and your health maybe have problems. Or your school. Or your job. I mean, itโs every single thing in their whole life. And that is really hard for most people to comprehend.
You know, my Facebook feed is full of some people whoโve lost everything, and other people who are whining because somebody took their coffee at Starbucks. And itโs just a totally different level of problem.
Steven: Absolutely. We canโt judge people at all for their concerns, and context is really important. But if you think about your normal everyday stresses that get to you, this is beyond most of our imaginations. Right now, in an odd way, while itโs really in the midst of the crisis, itโs almost easier to manage. Itโs when โ I think the analogy I often use is โ when a family member passes, thereโs so much support, and youโre busy, and you almost donโt have time to think about your feelings.
And itโs really about a week or two weeks later, where it really hits. This is the kind of thing that โ once the floodwaters recede, itโs going to really hit. Itโs really just crucial, the connectedness and the community thatโs going to help kids in particular ride this out.
Do people come out stronger?
Vicki: Yeah. Steven, youโve given us so much to think about. Could you leave us all on an up note? Could you tell us, you knowโฆ Is there hope? Are there things, you knowโฆ Do you see people working through these and coming out stronger?
Steven: Absolutely. I think the hope isโฆ Really, what we have seen are the amazing number of people that have responded in whatever way they can, whether itโs physically, or with money or food. That is where the hope is, coming together supporting and helping people who have been impacted so strongly. And that just makes us better. That makes everybody better. One way to think about it is that this is a huge crisis. Thereโs so much opportunity to come together in these crisis situations.
Vicki: And thatโs what we need to do. Weโll include in the Shownotes some schools that are trying to adopt schools in Houston, there are principals who are connecting. There are ways to connect. And it helps all of us to be connected and be there for each other, because โ you know, itโs somebody in Houston today. Itโll be you tomorrow. It was me yesterday. I mean we were dealing with the tornadoes and the winds here in south Georgia just back in January. We still have people recovering. But when weโre there for each other, it really does give us hope, doesnโt it?
Steven: Absolutely. Community is so important. We are social beings, and it helps the victims and the survivors, and it also helps the people who are helping.
Vicki: So educators, thank you for listening to this special episode of the โTen Minute Teacher.โ Again, we decided to go longer than ten minutes because this is an important topic that we needed to discuss. I hope that itโll be something that you can share, and really help those [in need]. And if youโre listening, and you are impacted by Harvey or any other disaster โ You are important. You are cared about. There are many of us who love you very much and are praying for you. And you are not alone.
Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford
Bio as Submitted
Steven Berkowitz, M.D is a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, and the Director of the Penn Center for Youth and Family Trauma Response and Recovery, which provides evidence-based practices for traumatized youth.
In addition, he is the Medical Director of the new Integrated Care Program at the Childrenโs Hospital of Philadelphia, Healthy Minds Healthy Kids.
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