Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships that All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward by Henry Cloud is a must read for educators or any professional or person who is caught in making hard decisions about working with people.
At the Crossroads of Decision
There are times when you're afraid. You can find a million reasons that you can't do something. It is daunting. It might be hard. It might be something that won't be easy or could be controversial.
How do you overcome all of this resistance when you know that you need to move forward anyway?
We all live these moments. We all experience these times. Times when you wake up in the morning and realize that you've got something amiss and need to do something about it.
It has been that way for me with moving my blog. I was scared. I knew it would be hard. It is still hard. But, I've done it. I actually stared at the ceiling awake at night thinking about it.
Sometimes you need to make a necessary ending, how do you decide?
But there are other things that can cause this to happen. Much more serious, harder things. I remember when I was a freshman in college. I had a “friend” who I did so many things with. But one day I woke up and realized that every time we did anything together it was always her call. What she wanted to do. Where she wanted to go. When she wanted to do it. If I wasn't available then, I got a guilt trip.
If you are a pleaser, like me, this is a dangerous relationship to be in. As a pleaser, we will give and give until there is quite literally nothing left. While I don't really usually care where we eat or where we go or even when – when your needs and thoughts and wants are entirely ignored you begin to. Further than that, when you don't do the smallest things the way the other person wants you to and they become upset– it is an unhealthy relationship and it is time to end it.
This is why the book Necessary Endings has been so helpful for me. It has helped me, as a pleaser, see that I should sometimes end things and how to tell when it should happen.
Read Chapter 7 to decide what students or employees to work with and how to work with those who don't listen or ever change
But it is also a helpful book for any manager. How do you know when a person is going to change or how to determine who you can work with and who should be removed from your organization? Chapter 7 of the book is one of the most important chapters I've read and I asked my 9th graders to listen to Michael Hyatt's Podcast on that chapter (starting at around minute 14) for bonus from last semester. (As a side note, my state winning basketball coach/friend Jenni read Chapter 7 and said it helped her with coaching and she talked about it with her girls.)
There are times when endings need to happen. Not all the time. Not super often. But sometimes. And those times can make a huge difference in your life. While not easy to end things that aren't working out, if they are harming you, your health, and your family, you have to ask what price you're willing to pay.
There are times that employees, jobs, and relationships should end. The wisdom is knowing when to end it and when you can work it out.
Necessary Endings: My Book Review Conclusion
This is one of the best books I've read for wise life guidance next to Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People' and is a must read for those who want to be leaders in their organizations or just want to live a better life.
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- Discover 10 stress-busting secrets for healthy teachers. What simple routines will help you handle the stress?
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- Learn tips to help you deal with difficult colleagues and students (even those who "hate" you -- yes it is possible!)