Stay Positive: 7 Ways to Cancel the Noise of Negativity

She sounded like a banshee with a stubbed toe. The wail from the cubicle across from mine, as I sat down to try to write this blog post on a layover in Minneapolis, is worse than any caterwauling I've ever heard before. I can't tell if she's speaking in tongues or lost hers. Right now is not a time for the battery in my noise cancelling headphones to go out but it did! Eeech!

I am usually pretty good at NOT staring or glaring. But several times, the shrieks alternated with the off key something and the guttural noises caused me to jump in my seat and look at her.

And then it hit me… there are times we need noise cancelling headphones at school. We shouldn't wear them literally all the time, I think. But, there are things we can do to silence the noise when it threatens our ability to bring our best to our students.

There are those who whine, complain, and bellyache so badly that you can't get your work done. In fact, I started really writing this blog post AFTER she left. Even my Focus@will app couldn't quite drown out the noise like she was killing cats! (Although I admit, I do NOT know what that sounds like.)

But you know what — I find that the more I hear complaints and “woe is me” kinda stuff – it almost does kill this cat — the Cool Cat Teacher, that is. When I don't post on my blog for a while: either I'm on a family vacation or… you guessed it… I'm fighting a battle with my attitude. The worst wars with my own attitude are usually started by friendly fire. But there is no such thing. Bad attitudes spread like a virus. Schools need people who can cancel out the noise.

There are two or three places I know I can go to have a down day. There are certain people that if I let them corner me in the hall, I will take a tumble. There are those who just cannot find solutions, only a multitude of problems.

So, here are seven ways to cancel the noise of negativity:

  1. You can change the subject. Kindly try to redirect the subject to something you know the other person likes.
  2. You can be upfront about your new hope. You can be direct, “____, I'm working very hard on having an excellent attitude but if we talk about this right now, it is going to be hard to do that. If it is OK with you, could we change the subject so I can stay positive?”
  3. You can schedule a meeting with those who can do something about it. Sometimes a real issue needs to be handled. Crucial Conversations is a dynamite book that can help you learn how to have productive conversations about hard topics. You can tell the truth AND preserve your relationships with people if you know how because there are people who do it every day. I'm committed to being a leader at my school. I have to be able to be part of crucial conversations. I am committed to being someone that others can speak to and feel safe. I admit that I've failed miserably in the past. Admitting failure is the first step on a journey of self-improvement.
    Another option with this one is to help the person do something about it. If it is in your power, give them a job to do that will have a measurable result. This technique is often one that will either quiet the complainer or help you make progress.
  4. Listen. There are people who are rarely negative and need a listen. We all fall and struggle. Sometimes we need someone to listen without trying to give answers. And then, after you listen, try to forget and move on unless you need to do.
  5. You can walk away. Yes, you can. You do have lots of work to do, so you can say what that is and move on.
  6. You can avoid the “hot spots”. I can tell when people are congregating and belly aching. When I see it happen as I'm walking in the teacher's lounge, I keep walking out the door and just take a quick walk to the other building and back.
  7. You must reprogram yourself. As a Christian, we call it “renewing our mind.” Read success stories about people who overcame problems. Write a joy journal. Move ahead and decide to have an excellent attitude.

Sometimes we all need noise cancelling headphones. Sometimes they are physical headphones but it is usually our ability to hit problems head on with solutions and the avoiding of those who have decided to have a stinky attitude that helps the most.

I'll never forget that noise coming from the cubicle next to me in Minnesota. I think I'll replay it in my mind every time I hear unconstructive complaining — they are both just as annoying.

[callout]Question: Think of those people or places where negativity clouds the space like fog on a warm spring day. What can you do to cancel out the noise? Make a commitment to yourself to take action this week.[/callout]

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Vicki Davis

Vicki Davis

Vicki Davis is a full-time classroom teacher and IT Director in Georgia, USA. She is Mom of three, wife of one, and loves talking about the wise, transformational use of technology for teaching and doing good in the world. She hosts the 10 Minute Teacher Podcast which interviews teachers around the world about remarkable classroom practices to inspire and help teachers. Vicki focuses on what unites us -- a quest for truly remarkable life-changing teaching and learning. The goal of her work is to provide actionable, encouraging, relevant ideas for teachers that are grounded in the truth and shared with love. Vicki has been teaching since 2002 and blogging since 2005. Vicki has spoken around the world to inspire and help teachers reach their students. She is passionate about helping every child find purpose, passion, and meaning in life with a lifelong commitment to the joy and responsibility of learning. If you talk to Vicki for very long, she will encourage you to "Relate to Educate" or "innovate like a turtle" or to be "a remarkable teacher." She loves to talk to teachers who love their students and are trying to do their best. Twitter is her favorite place to share and she loves to make homemade sourdough bread and cinnamon rolls and enjoys running half marathons with her sisters. You can usually find her laughing with her students or digging into a book.

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2 comments

Graeme Ritchie May 1, 2015 - 9:37 am

Yeah, life is too short to be close to tedious negativity. My antidote is to remind myself of three truths: My job as a middle school science teacher is a dream come true and a God-given gift, and it is a privilege to work with my students. And those are truths regardless of how I feel!

Reply
Vicki Davis May 6, 2015 - 6:45 am

Wow, Graeme! What incredible things to remind yourself of! I think I need to remind myself of these things too. The other point you make subtly is that feelings can lie. We need to hold onto the truth and be careful of trusting our feelings too much – especially during the last few burnout weeks of school.

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The Cool Cat Teacher Blog
Vicki Davis writes The Cool Cat Teacher Blog for classroom teachers everywhere